Being a leader is not easy. At least, not if you’re doing it right. In fact, it should be a bit painful. Let me back up…

Like many, fall is my favorite. I love all the usual traditions—football, pumpkin everything, crunchy leaves, crisp air, and more. But I also enjoy one less traditional tradition: watching Dan in Real Life. If you appreciate feel-good comedies, this one is for you.

Dan, played by Steve Carrell, is a widower and newspaper columnist. As a parent, and more specifically a single father to three girls, he makes intentional sacrifices on a daily basis—and broader life basis—to care for his daughters and put their needs before his own. Through big and small gestures, Dan’s commitment to his girls is evident. You can’t help but like him.

We naturally admire this type of selflessness. It gives us all the warm fuzzies when observing it in others. But when engaging in it ourselves, it often feels painful before we reach the warm fuzzy part. At least it should, because genuine selflessness requires sacrificing something of value to us.

We sometimes forget that great leadership—like parenting—requires selflessness and sacrifice:

• It requires caring more about our people’s success than our own.

• It requires giving without needing affirmation or gratitude in return.

• It requires a willingness to work in the shadows, not just the spotlight.

• It’s a commitment to growing our people, even to the point of surpassing us.

Great leadership is an act of service.

With that in mind, it’s also important to acknowledge what productive servant leadership is not:

• It’s not protecting our people from failure. Rather, it’s making it safe to fail and ensuring growth happens through it.

• It’s not taking on the bulk of our team’s work to lighten their load. That’s like lifting weights for them, hoping they’ll still gain muscle.

• It’s not shielding our people from all stress. Taking on their stress actually strips responsibility from them. If we want employees to feel a sincere sense of ownership and trust, then we must delegate some of the stress that comes with it.

• And productive servant leadership is not self-sacrificing at all costs. Your team needs you to invest in your well-being and development. If you’re not in a healthy, grounded state, you certainly can’t serve others well.

Becoming a people leader is not for everyone, and that’s okay. It requires selflessness and service—and work often becomes harder, not easier, as a leader. But the reward is oh so sweet as you see your efforts multiplied through your people.

In today’s difficult times, I recognize how hard it can be to imagine sacrificing even more than you already are, but it’s worth it. And, honestly, it’s your responsibility as a leader. So, how can you better serve your people? In what ways can you sacrifice for them? If you need some inspiration, pop the popcorn, settle in on the couch, and roll Dan in Real Life.

Cheers to great leadership—the kind that pushes us to do the unnatural, hard things.