There’s a heavy emphasis on “self” in today’s culture. Self-care, self-help, self-love, self-affirmation, self-improvement—they’re all trending strong. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a big fan of investing in our own well-being and growth; but not without a broader perspective, and I’m afraid we’re drifting away from this wider lens.

I believe we invest in ourselves SO THAT we can more capably invest in others. We metaphorically “put our oxygen masks on first” SO THAT we can capably care for those around us.

Living a life in service of ourselves may bring fleeting moments of accomplishment and satisfaction, but it will never bring sustainable joy or a sense of purpose.

We are designed for service, and today’s self-focused culture is causing us to forget this. Which brings me to the first dangerous extreme of servant leadership…

1.

The first extreme of servant leadership is the void of it—the missed realization that great leadership is, in fact, an act of service.

I like to think of it this way… If you’re more concerned with your reputation, comfort and power than the reputation, comfort and power of the people in your care, you may be at risk for this extreme.

Quickly run through yesterday’s work interactions: decisions you made, emails you crafted, the way you engaged in various meetings. Were your words and actions driven by self-promotion or team-promotion?

2.

On the other end of the spectrum, we find servant leaders who have over-rotated in the opposite direction. They’ve teetered into “too much of a good thing” and their well-intended desire to serve begins to have an adverse impact.

Warning signs here include: protecting your employees from any chance of failure, not holding people accountable, carrying your team’s load, and no boundaries for keeping yourself healthy.

So what does balanced servant leadership look like?

Servant leadership requires selflessness and sacrifice:

• It’s caring more about your people’s success than your own.

• It’s giving without expecting recognition or gratitude in return.

• It’s exercising empathy, even when you don’t agree.

• It’s a willingness to work in the shadows, not just the spotlight.

• It’s a commitment to growing your people, even to the point of surpassing you.

Yes, it’s all of the above, but it’s also not several things:

• It’s not shielding your people from all stress. Taking on their stress actually strips responsibility from them. If you want employees to feel a sincere sense of ownership and trust, then you must delegate some of the stress that comes with it.

• It’s not protecting your people from failure. Rather, it’s creating safe space to fail and ensuring growth happens through it.

• It’s not giving free passes when people drop the ball. It’s setting them up for success and then holding them accountable because you believe in their ability to deliver.

• It’s not taking on the bulk of your team’s work to lighten their load. That’s like lifting weights for them, hoping they’ll still gain muscle.

• It’s not self-sacrificing at all costs. Your team needs you to invest in your well-being and development. If you’re not in a healthy state, you certainly can’t serve others well.

Servant leadership is not easy. But it’s worth it. So very worth it. And though not every act of leadership will look like service on the outside, I believe every act should be firmly anchored to a humble, heart of service on the inside.

After all, great leadership is an act of service.