Diagnose Your Boss's Communication Style
How to Manage Up (Part II)
Welcome to Part II in our series on managing up! (In case you missed Part I on owning your 1:1, you can find it here.)
Today we’re going to take a stab at diagnosing your boss’s communication style.
Why? Because most of us are still applying the Golden Rule: “Treat others the way you want to be treated.” It’s not bad, but there’s a better rule, and that’s the Platinum Rule: “Treat others the way they want to be treated.”
How does your boss like to communicate? Are they more direct or indirect? Do they like to know all the details, or keep it clear and concise?
Knowing your manager’s preferences and adapting to their style is one of the best ways to strengthen communication and rapport.
Let’s get started! First, watch the video. Then, download the guide for a cheat sheet of practical tips for mastering communication with your boss.
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Welcome to part two in our series on managing up.
Today, we are going to take a stab at diagnosing your boss's communication style.
Why? Well, most of us are still applying the Golden Rule, that rule we learned back in second grade: "Treat others the way you want to be treated."
It's not bad, but there's a more advanced rule that will serve you and others better, and that's the Platinum Rule: "Treat others the way THEY want to be treated."
You see, each of us has our own natural communication style, our own natural approach to approaching work, and the truth is, it may not feel like the most natural style to others.
If instead, I can think about how does my boss prefer to communicate? What are the best ways I can communicate with them to match their style? If we do this, we adapt to their style, it will feel much easier for them and actually they'll feel more connected with us.
And so again, today we are going to diagnose their style so that you can apply the Platinum Rule with them.
Now, to diagnose their style, I'm just going to give you a very quick rundown and then you are absolutely going to want to download the handout that will enable you to learn some tips and tricks for better communicating with them.
To consider their natural style, we're going to look at two different axes, okay, to identify four different communication styles.
The first axis that we'll look at is the vertical axis. On this vertical axis at the top, we have our task- and logic-, fact-focused individuals. They may come across as a little bit more skeptical. Maybe they approach things in a black-and-white manner, okay? They're more focused on the logic and tasks and the facts at hand. Maybe your boss falls there.
At the other end of this vertical axis, we have more of a people-focused approach. Individuals here tend to think about how decisions impact the people and how they will feel about it. Perhaps they come across as more empathizing.
Thinking about this vertical axis, consider where your boss falls on it.
The second axis we will look at is the horizontal axis. In the horizontal axis, we're thinking more about the pace with which your boss approaches work and conversations.
On one end, we have individuals who prefer a fast-paced environment, are outspoken, and comfortable sharing their ideas quickly.
On the other end, we have individuals who tend to be more reflective, prefer a moderate-paced environment where they can take their time to process information, do their research, and think things through before sharing their ideas or submitting a final product.
Think about this horizontal axis and identify where you think your manager falls on this axis.
With both positions in mind, you can put your boss in one of the four quadrants, and we will now dive into what are those four different styles.
If your boss tends to be fact- and logic-focused, as well as outspoken, they may be what we call the Decisive Driver.
Highly competitive, very assertive, probably driving forward strong performance on your team. They're not super interested in slowing down and hearing how your day was. They're more interested in how can we go achieve the best results and do it quickly?
So if your boss falls in this quadrant, the saying that I like to remember that I actually learned from a client many years ago, is be brief, be brilliant, be gone. That is your top tip for communicating with bosses who fall in this quadrant.
Next, let's look at communication styles that fall in more of the outspoken as well as people-focused quadrant. We will call these individuals our Interactive Influencers.
They tend to be big picture thinkers who can motivate others to come alongside them to pursue that vision. Often somewhat charismatic, that people-focused side helps them to really connect with individuals quickly, and they love to think up here, kind of big picture. They do not love to get down into the weeds. So if you believe your manager might fall in this quadrant, a couple of things to think about.
One, creating a warm connection with them. A warm atmosphere is going to go a long way. They are constantly reading the vibes around them, and if they sense kind of cold, curt communication, that is going to raise some red flags for them, okay? So create a warm environment.
And the second thing is ask for their opinions. Individuals in this space, they do love to share their ideas, and they have great ideas but they love to be able to hold the mic. They also love to be recognized for their ideas. So we are going to aim to possibly kind of stroke the ego a little bit there in a genuine way, and make sure we're giving them space to share their ideas.
Now, if you believe that your manager falls in the more people-focused end as well as reflective or moderate-paced, we are going to call them a Steady Supporter.
Our bosses who sit here tend to provide a pretty stable environment for the team. They don't love major change and prefer to kind of have consistency and reliability in the workplace.
Individuals in this space typically are very dependable. Likely if your boss is here, you can rely on them to follow through on their commitments and also because of that people-focused nature, to really be thinking about how the team is feeling and to be kind of the glue that holds the team together.
If you believe your manager falls in this communication style, you're going to want to contribute to a stable environment, not bringing up huge changes and quick pivots, new ideas, right? Try to approach things in a little bit more of a steady manner, and keeping that steady pace will feel really good to them.
Also, because our Steady Supporters genuinely care about others, if you can demonstrate genuine care and interest for them as a whole person, that will also go a long way. So slow down enough to really ask how they are doing, and to learn about them.
Now last but not least are our logic-focused, more reflective individuals. If your boss falls in this quadrant, we are going to call them the Conscientious Calculator.
Individuals here are great at diving into the details, striving for intense accuracy. They're going to be fairly compliant, so if there are regulations or procedures that your team needs to be following, they will want to ensure that those are being followed very diligently, okay?
They don't love to rush through things because they're striving to produce an excellent product, and so giving them time to make decisions and process things is going to be very important. If your boss potentially resides in this quadrant, one thing that you can do is to share as much information as possible with them.
Our Conscientious Calculators, because they want to produce a great product and make really great, informed decisions, they like to have as much information as possible, so err on the side of sharing too much, knowing that that probably feels really good to them. And then also, when you're presenting proposals to them or projects, solutions, get into the weeds. They want to hear some of the logic behind what you are proposing and ensure that you have really crossed all the Ts, dotted all the Is. That's going to be important to them.
Well, hopefully this quick rundown is giving you some ideas on how you can apply the Platinum Rule with your boss.
I highly recommend that you download the handout below so that you can use it as a cheatsheet for improving your communication with your boss and with others, right? We can apply this framework to others as well.
And if you want to take it even one step further, this model is really based off of the DISC behavioral styles, and if you want to take a formalized, standardized assessment to really dive in deeper and learn how to apply the model even better, reach out to me, because certainly I can get you connected with a standardized assessment, again, to take it to the next level.